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Post by TJ on May 6, 2010 10:22:56 GMT -5
We should write a book and call it "Life through the eyes of Doyle Hargrave" It would be a best seller for sure.
I'm sorry I hit your mama.
It's just that I'm jealous of her.
I don't like her life
or how she lives it.
I don't like homosexuals.
And she goes out and buddies
up with one, so I gotta deal with that.
I don't like wimpy-ass kids
or mental retards...
and she got one of each
living with her.
I'm just kidding about that.
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Post by chrismac on May 6, 2010 10:45:47 GMT -5
We should write a book and call it "Life through the eyes of Doyle Hargrave" It would be a best seller for sure. I'm sorry I hit your mama. It's just that I'm jealous of her. I don't like her life or how she lives it. I don't like homosexuals. And she goes out and buddies up with one, so I gotta deal with that. I don't like wimpy-ass kids or mental retards... and she got one of each living with her. I'm just kidding about that. we would be rich for sure! A Mercury is a good car. That's the car I was driving that day. I've had a lot of cars. Different kinds. Lot's of different kinds of cars. She was standing - this girl - on the side of the street where there was this chicken stand, wasn't the Colonel but it was a chicken stand nonetheless. I pulled the Mercury up right along side her and rolled down the window, see, by electric power. She had on a leather skirt and had a lot of hair on her arms. I like that a lot. That means a big bush. I like a big bush. She says, "Are you dating?" You know, so I said, "Sure". She gets in and we pull off to a remote location that was comfortable for both she and I. She says, "How much do you wanna spend?", I said, "Whatever it will take to see that bush of yours because I know it's a big one". She says, "Twenty five dollars". That's not chicken feed to a working man so I produce the $25, she puts it in her shoe, pulls up her skirt and there before me lay this thin, crooked, uncircumcised penis. You can imagine how bad I wanted my $25 back, huh? |
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Post by TJ on May 6, 2010 11:49:02 GMT -5
Also, please don't tell anyone at the store...
that Albert was here tonight.
Why?
You know how this town is.
People talk...
and they spread cruel rumors.
Unfortunately, there's certain parts
of my life I have to keep private.
You mean about you and Albert
being together in that way?
- Yes.
- I think everybody already knows.
They're always talking about it.
Maureen Ledbetter told
the most awful story...
about why you ain't allowed
at the First Baptist Church no more.
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Post by chrismac on May 6, 2010 11:56:33 GMT -5
There was a young man by the name of John Leggit Hunter who ran a filling station business, a good filling station business and he's one of these young men we all come across in life, I'm sure you've come across 'em, who did not deserve what he had and what he had was a beautiful young bride named Sarah. She was a Georgia peach. In fact, she was the picture I had in my mind of the perfect woman so I took it upon myself to take her away from John Leggit Hunter who did not deserve her. Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this but he was a Frenchman who claimed to be an Englishman. It took a lot of strong nylon cord to get her away from him because she was a fighter as well as being a Georgia peach.
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Post by chrismac on May 6, 2010 12:00:26 GMT -5
my favorite:
Doyle: Hey, Vaughan, I heard you been putting it on ol' Albert Sellers who works over at the funeral home.
Vaughan: I know Albert. We're friends.
Doyle: No, I heard you're more than friends. I heard d!ck Rivers come in there and caught the two of you all bowed up and going at it in the same room with poor Miss Ogletree, her dead as a doornail laid out on a gurney.
Vaughan Cunningham: That is ridiculous. That is just a total lie.
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Post by MetalHeart on May 6, 2010 19:20:45 GMT -5
You guys are killin me ;D
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Post by TJ on May 7, 2010 7:15:01 GMT -5
Doyle: Was you in lockup for cutting someone
with a hatchet or something?
Karl: I ain't never used no hatchet
that I remember.
Doyle: So you're just crazy
in a retard kind of way then?
It wouldn't matter to me
if you did do violence.
I ain't scared of sh!t.
You think I'm scared
for you to stay here?
You just a humped-over retard.
I'm just kidding you.
Welcome to our humble home, buddy.
Doyle is such a personal, warm, friendly type fella. LOL!!
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Post by chrismac on May 7, 2010 8:36:47 GMT -5
This just MAY be my one of my top 3 favorite Doyle lines:
You just a humped-over retard.
I'm just kidding you.
Welcome to our humble home, buddy
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Post by chrismac on May 7, 2010 8:43:12 GMT -5
You guys are killin me ;D ;D |
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Post by MetalHeart on May 8, 2010 6:27:37 GMT -5
Have you guys seen the early version of this movie? It was made a few years earlier and it was only like 30 mins long. "Some call it a slingblade" is the name of it . Billy Bob (Carl) looks fookin crazier and also Molly Ringwald plays the student . And its in b&W. I watched it on netflix. Its not that great but since you two guys are way huge fans you need to check it out.  |
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